Most drummers and creatives have heard of the law of attraction. You know the idea – think about what you want, feel as if you already have it, and eventually it shows up.
In my experience, that is not how it really works.
What has actually played out in my life is something different – something I now think of as the law of true desire. Not what you think about on the surface, but what you deeply yearn for underneath everything else.
Napoleon Hill begins his Think and Grow Rich book with this same idea.
This blog post is a shorter, cleaner version of a much longer talk I gave on this subject, along with how it shaped my drumming career and where I am now.
Why My Channel Is Called The Drum Coach
I named my channel “The Drum Coach” not because I see myself as a traditional drum instructor, but because of what I want to help drummers actually uncover – their deeper drives, desires, and goals. I want to uncover “The Drum Coach” in you! Sorry, I Desire, to uncover “The Drum Coach” in you!
My years of playing the gigs I wanted to play have given me insight not just into drumming, but into a process that sits beneath our results in life. It is this process that I believe people try to describe with the law of attraction.
The classic phrase from Earl Nightingale is:
We become what we think about.
For drummers, you could say:
We achieve what we think about.
But over time, I have come to believe this is not quite accurate. We do not become what we think about. We become what we desire. This of course, is tied in with self image which is beyond this document. I refer you to Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho Cybernetics book.
Thinking is surface. Desire is deeper.
Desire vs Want – A Crucial Difference
Here is the key distinction as I see it:
- A want is a surface thought. It may have very little desire attached to it. Not the burning desire Napoleon Hill talks about.
- A desire is a deeper emotional pull – a yearning that sits beneath your conscious thinking. A true desire once formed contains absolute certainty that it will be fulfilled. Without a shadow of doubt. And because a desire, is created directly from experiences. Experiences are the ultimate power. See my other works on True Power.
The law of attraction tells you to know what you want and feel as if you already have it. But you can want something without truly desiring it.
For example, I might decide I want a new car. It sounds nice. I can imagine it. I can try to feel as if I already own it. But if I do not truly desire it – if there is no real yearning for it – then nothing meaningful is set in motion.
The desire lives deeper than the want. In fact:
- Desire is the cause.
- Want is the effect. Of that cause. Albeit mostly unconscious.
You experience something. That experience triggers a powerful emotional response. That response creates a desire. Out of that desire, a want appears on the surface, and that want becomes a goal.
Later, you form other wants in your mind and in most part, they go against the grain. They go against your desire. This is what they are trying to articulate when the guru’s say you must be in alignment. But the alignment is not with the thing you want. The alignment (of the want), must be in alignment to what you truly desire.
The gurus say you get what you think about. I believe you get what you desire – and you naturally think and act in line with that desire. But then as suggested, you may begin to form wants that are not in alignment. With the desire. Those wants are powerless. They are empty.
How My First Desire Was Formed
To show you what I mean, let me go back to where it all started.
When I was about seven or eight years old, I heard “Rock and Roll Part 1 and 2” by Gary Glitter. Whatever you may think of him now, at the time that song hit me hard. Like many people, I absolutely loved that beat.
In that moment, I did not sit there and decide I wanted to be a drummer in some logical way. Something deeper happened. I desired to play the drums. Not to want drums. Not to want to be a drummer. I desired to play that beat.
That was not a conscious idea. It was an emotional pull – a yearning. All born from an experience.
And then things started to line up:
- First came the inspiration – hearing the song.
- Soon after, I got a drum kit for Christmas.
- Shortly after that, my dad woke me up one Saturday to tell me I had a drum lesson.
Desire – kit – lesson.
The desire was formed, and then it began to be fulfilled. automatically of its own accord. I didn’t have to visualize, or feel, or imagine, or believe. Belief is irrelevant when you understand that every desire will absolutely fulfilled. That is the law of how you operate. Your human mechanism. Not the universe, for you are that too. But again, lets not stretch thing beyond ourselves as we have come to know ourselves.
This, to me, is the real process:
- You have a strong experience.
- That experience creates a deep desire. (repetition can help – for instance I kept listening to that Gary Glitter song.)
- That desire later leads to wants, goals, and actions. But the desire of itself will cause you to act towards its fulfilment.
- Over time, the desire is fulfilled through those actions.
The Second Desire – From Watching TV Shows To Playing On Them
After a couple of years of lessons, I started gigging.
At the same time, there were certain TV shows my parents used to watch – Bobby Davro, Bob Monkhouse, Les Dennis, Paul Daniels, and other UK entertainers from that cabaret and variety world.
I loved those shows. I loved the comedians, the impressionists, the magicians, the whole atmosphere. I can remember leaving the house for gigs, sticking my head around the living room door because I really wanted to stay and watch those programs.
I wanted to watch them. I also wanted to go on the gig. It was a real pull in two directions.
Looking back, I now believe this was my next deep desire being formed –
the desire to work with those kinds of people.
Years later, that is exactly what happened.
I went on to work in tours, sessions, theaters, shows, and pantomimes with many of those types of TV personalities. I have literally worked alongside hundreds of them.
Later, I used to say to myself:
There must be something in this law of attraction thing, because I have worked with just about every celebrity I wanted to work with when I was young.
But it was not because I sat thinking about them and imagining it every day. I had a desire for that world – and my life gradually formed around that desire.
Hitting the Ceiling – The Success Thermostat
After many years, I realized something important.
I had practiced a lot, I was confident, and I was doing the kinds of shows I once dreamed about. But I could not seem to get beyond that level. I was not becoming a famous rock or pop drummer. I was not moving into that world.
Why?
A few things became clear:
- My deep desire was not to be a famous rock or pop drummer.
- I did not truly yearn to play the same songs night after night.
- I loved variation – different material every gig, different acts, different shows.
My desire was tuned to that variety world – not to being in a single band playing the same set forever.
You could compare it to what some people call a financial or success thermostat. You have a level, often formed in your early years, where you unconsciously set your sense of what is normal or acceptable.
Any opportunity above that level starts to feel uncomfortable, and without realizing it, you may sabotage yourself.
In my case, my success thermostat and my core desire lined up perfectly with:
- Working with many different artists.
- Playing varied shows and material.
- Enjoying the world I first admired on TV as a kid.
I did not go further in a different direction because, deep down, I did not desire that direction. My core desire had been set. And no matter how much I wanted to succeed at an higher level. My thermostat dictated otherwise. I had set the desire and it was constantly being fulfilled.
The Law of True Desire
So here is my working model of how this really functions.
- You are exposed to experiences, especially when you are young.
- Some of those experiences hit you on a deep emotional level.
- Those experiences generate a core desire – something you yearn for without even needing to put it into words.
- That desire creates wants, goals, and actions on the surface.
- Over time, you move toward the fulfillment of that desire.
This is why I say:
- You are not just a goal seeking machine as Maxwell Maltz puts it.
- You are a desire fulfilling machine.
The goals are like stepping stones or signposts that point toward the deeper desire underneath.
Think of it like this:
- Desire is the core.
- Wants form around it. I say wants, but is more about actions.
- Goals organize those wants (actions), into more action.
- Your life gradually arranges itself around that desire.
I do not really believe in the law of attraction as it is usually taught. But I do believe there is an almost immutable law at work in us:
A true core desire will eventually be fulfilled, because you will keep moving toward it, consciously and unconsciously.
Reflecting On Your Own Core Desire
This is where it becomes useful for you as a drummer and as a person.
Think back to when you were young – maybe around six or seven up to your early teens.
- What were you drawn to?
- What did you feel strangely passionate about?
- What did you keep thinking about or returning to, even when you were supposed to be doing something else?
Some of those experiences may have planted the seeds of your core desire.
Now look at your life today:
- What are you working on right now?
- What do you keep coming back to, even if it is frustrating or slow?
- What do you yearn for deep down, beneath the surface wants?
If you can identify that thread – that underlying desire that keeps reappearing in different forms – you are probably looking at your core desire in action.
And here is the good news:
Once you recognize your core desire, you can begin to work with it consciously instead of fighting it or pretending you want something else.
Where I Am Now
At the time of recording and writing all this, I recognized that a new core desire had started to form in me over the last several years.
Just as my early desires led me into drumming, into specific kinds of gigs, and into working with the sort of artists I once watched on TV, this new desire is beginning to shape my current and future work.
That is part of what this new series and my current projects are about – sharing what I have learned, coaching drummers, and helping others uncover and align with their own core desires in drumming and in life.
And more importantly, removing some of the struggles I had. Creating income was hard in those days and although the ideas are far and wide today, it is still no piece of cake to build future in drumming. And that applies to income too.
Final Thoughts
If there is one thing I would like you to take away, it is this:
- Do not only ask, “What do I want?”
- Ask, “What do I truly yearn for?”
Look at your actions, your patterns, your obsessions, your recurring goals. Underneath all of that is a core desire that has probably been with you for a very long time.
Once you see it clearly, you will understand why certain things have happened, why some dreams have not materialized, and why others have.
You do not become what you think about.
You become what you desire.
And if you can align your practice, your goals, and your drumming life with that true desire, you will move toward it – almost inevitably.
